MYTRYSTWITHCIVILSERVICES

IT WAS IN MY YOUNG AGE THAT I FIRST KNOW OF THE ZILA COLLECTOR AND THE WAY PEOPLE RESPECTED THAT POSOTION MADE ME ADMIRE AND ULTIMATELY A FEELING IN ME TO BECAME IAS EMERGED.I TOLD EVERYONE WHO ASK ABOUT MY AMBITION THAT I WANT TO BE AN IAS.ATER SOME TIME I SAW IN NEWSPARPER SOME DOCTOR BECAMING IAS.MY PARENTS WISHED TO MAKE ME AN DOCTOR.SO I DECIDED OK.I WILL BE BOTH MBBS AND IAS.MY UNCLE(SISTERS HUSBAND)WHO WAS AN ENGINEER WAS HAVING SOME OLD COMPETITION SUCESS ISSUES THAT HE WAS STUDYING AT HIS YOUNG AGE.I READ THEM FIRST IN MY SEVENTH STANDARD.MY SCHOOLTEACHER THULASI MADAM RECOMMENDRD TO MY FATHER TO BUY ME THE HINDU NEWSPAPER TELLING TO MY FATHER THAT I HAVE ABUNDANT TALENT.MY COUSIN BROTHER WHO WAS AN LECTURER WAS HAVING AN CIVILSERVICES GUIDE THAT HE STUDUED DURING HIS EARLIER DAYS.I GOT THAT JUST WENT THROUGH WHEN I WAS JUST NINTH.WHEREVER I WENT I USED TO TELL I WANT TO BECAME MBBSIAS.EVERYBODY USED TO STARE AT ME EVEN MY TEACHERS BECAME PUZZLED AT ME.THANK TO MY UNCLE AND HIS BROTHER..THEY GIFTED ME SOME ENIDBLYTONS BOOKS AND READERS DIGEST AT NINTH STANDARD AND AFTER THAT I BECAME AN BOOKWORM AND NOW I HAVE A HUGE COLLECTION OF BOOKS.IF SOMEBODY VISIT MY HOME NOBODY WILL EXPECT A RICH COLLECTION OF BOOKS IN A RURAL AREA AND THAT TOO I AM AN FIRSTGENERATION LEARNER WITH HIGHEREDUCATIONALQUALIFICATION.AFTER TWELTH I JOINED ANNAMALAI UNIVERSITY.THARE ALSO I USED TO TELL MTY FUTURE AIM IS IAS.I USED TO READ THE HINDU,FRONTLINE,INDIA TODAY APART FROM MANORAMA AND GENERAL KNOWLEDGEBOOKS WATCH BBC,NDTV WHENEVER I GET FEE TIME.DURING MY INTERNSHIP TIME I TOOK 3 MONTHS LEAVE AND GAVE MY FIRST ATTEMPT WITH HISTORY.FOR THAT 3 MONTHS I GOT EXTENSION.I DID NOT KNOW THE METHOD OF PREPARATION AS ALL WERE UNAWARE OF THE NEW TRENDS,I HAD NO ONE TO CONSULT SO I DID NOT KNOW THE STRATEGY AND NO ONE HELPED ME.I DID HARDWORK AND FAILE D IN PRELIMS STAGE ITSELF.I GAVE MY SECOND ATTEMPT WITH MEDICAL SCIENCE,I WASTED MY SECOND ATTEMOPT WITH ONLY 20 DAYS PREPARETION WHICH WAS INADEQUATE AND FAILED AGAIN.THIRD TIME I DEVOTED SOME TIME AND STUDIED ALONE IN HOME WITH PSYCHOLOGY AND AGAIN FAILED.I BECAME FRUSTRATED I THOUGHT I DO NOT DESERVE TO BE IN CIVIL SERVICES.THEN I PREPARED FOR FOURTH FOURTH ATTEMPT WITH POLITICIAL SCIENCE AS OPTION ONLY TO GIVE UP IN THE MIDDLE.EVERYBODY THOUGHT I WILL BECAME MAD DUE TO SWITHCHING OF OPTIONALS AND CONTINUOS READING.YES I WAS STRESSED BUT I MANAGED IT EFFECTIVELY WITH MY COPING SKILLS.DURING THIS TIMES I TRIED TO JOIN COACHINGCENTRE S THREE TIMES BUT ALL THE THREE TIME SOME FAMILY STUATION OR SOME OTHER REASON NEVER ALLOWED ME TO JOIN.FINALLY I JOINED VAJIRAM AND RAVI IN2009 AFTER STARTING MY PREPARTION IN 2005.WHEN I WENT TO DELHI I REALISED HOW IGNORANT I WAS ,I WA S FRUSTRATED AGAIN TO SEE WELL PLANNED COMPETITIORS BUT I CONSOLED MYSELF THAT IF I HAVE KNOWN THE STRATEGY AND SOMEONE TO GUIDE ME I WOULD HAVE BEEN AN CIVILSERVAN FOR THE HARDWORK I WAS DOING.I AGAIN OPTED FOR PSYCHOLGY AND CARRIED OUT AN STRATEGY WITH CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF.I PASSED THIS TIME TO THE ASTONISHMENT OF ALL AND THIS TIME I WROTE MAINEXAM WITH PSYCHOLOGY AND POLITICALSCIENCE AS MY OPTIONAL SUBJECT AND TILL NOW I HOPE TO PASS....BUT I DO NOT KNOW WHAT GOD HAS STORE IN ME.
AMID ALL THIOS I DID FEW USEFUL THINGS
1.)I PREPARED FOR PG MEDICAL ENTRANCE SOMEWHAT UPTO50%AND ATTENDED FEW CLASSES.
2.)I PREPARED AN PROJECT FOR HOSPITAL ADMINSTRATION IN APOLLOMEDVARSITY ONLINE COURSE.
3.)I HELPED MY FATHER PREPARE HIS AUTIBIOGRAPHY AND I WORKED NEARLY 3 MONTHS INTO IT AND ALSO WROTE SOME RELEVANT PORTIONS.
4.)I TOOK MY MOTHER TO TO OPHTHALDOCTORS AND DID LOT OF CONSULTATION AND STUDY FOR HER BOTH EYESURGERY AND TOOK CARE OF HER BY MYSELF PUTTING MEDICINE INTO HER EYES TIMELY.THIS TOOK ME 2 MONTHS.IT IS MY DUTY KNOW...
5.)RECIEVED LOT OF JOBOFFER BUT I THOUGHT TASTING MONEY AT THIS JUNCTRE WILL NOT DO ANY GOOD FOR ME
NOW I DO NOT KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MY RESULT???GOD ONLY KNOWS..I AM SCARED....A LOT...